This summer our family has received so many blessings and interesting lessons learned. First of all, the TV and computer are finally out of the house. Our family moved to a new home and the computer and television have been exiled to the garage. The children and family life in general have improved immensely with the complete removal of television and I've decided to spend most of this "7 quick takes" post detailing those improvements and commenting on other more or less related topics.
Some background: We haven't had cable TV for a very long time. We found that even on stations geared toward children, those stations were still full of advertising that was or could be detrimental to our children in a variety of ways. On some channels there was also the risk of shows earlier in the day being fairly appropriate for children's viewing but at some point in the afternoon switching to programming supposedly for a pre-teen or teen audience that were really not even appropriate for a teen, let alone a small child. So for the most part our TV battle involved the use of children's programs on Netflix and games on sites like Nick Jr.
Our ongoing struggle to regulate television began when my oldest was almost two. We had recently moved 3,000 miles across the country and she and I were staying in my parents' RV until we moved into our apartment. It was a difficult environment for a curious toddler and watching TV kept her from flipping all of the potentially dangerous or damaging buttons and switches inside the vehicle. I thought we'd go back to our usual little to no TV life after we moved into our apartment but it was much more difficult than I had bargained for! She was now bored without it and the box would become our crutch for difficult or demanding times (unpacking, arrival of new siblings, morning sickness, military deployment transitions and so on). Since our oldest was two we've had an ongoing fight with the TV, from periods of turning it off altogether (like during Lent), to heavily regulated use, to it being totally abused and overused at times. It was a constant stress for me, especially as homeschooling began to come into the picture. Also, I think the recommendation that children under the age of 2 not being subjected to the screen is a good recommendation, so even if we limited the use of television for our older children, there was still their younger siblings being exposed to its influence and effects. Then one day on an interview with Mrs. Bates, mother of 18 children, she was talking about their family's view on television in the home (the Bates family does not own a TV nor do they have internet in the home) and how she knows that families can use it wisely and be selective about content and regulate the amount of time spent watching TV, but that they knew that they did not have that kind of will-power. If their family had a TV they would eventually be spending too much time in front of it and less time doing chores, school, and other necessities around the house and less time together as a family. And I thought yes! That is our problem. For our family, TV in the home will always be a problem. My husband didn't want to get rid of the TV altogether, wanting to be able to watch our favorite films from time to time, and I needed the internet for many of our lessons and projects, but still didn't want a computer in the house, so my husband came up with the idea of keeping both in the garage, and so far this has been a good solution for our family. ( a note on exiling internet to a remote location, priests and others knowledgeable about the problems with internet temptations often recommend internet in as open and public an area of the home as possible. Neither my husband nor I struggle in the area of internet temptations in the areas of the 6th or 9th commandments and our children are still very young and do not yet use the internet so this may need to be re-worked in later years and may not work at all for other families. )
1. Happier and More Independent
One of the difficulties with cutting down on TV use was that the children would be cranky and bored, used to being passively entertained. Now that it has been completely removed for some time, they seem to regulate their emotions better (especially the little guy) and easily engage in self-directed free play for long periods of time.
2. Improved behavior.
Self-explanatory. Their listening capabilities have noticeably improved. When they watched TV during the week, I was often nervous about focusing on dishes, laundry, or other chores without switching on the box because instead of finding quiet productive activities for themselves they would run off and make a mess or some other mischief. Now they sit quietly and read or play neatly with their toys.
My oldest two children learned to read this summer, at ages 3 and 5. For the first month or more in the new house the only things I unpacked were the books. The toys were still in boxes in the garage. So all day long they were reading Bob books and looking through picture books. Now a couple months later they can read most of the picture books to themselves, including the ones we bring home from the library. I've loved books from a young age, and so now seeing my children be able to experience the joy of books for themselves is very gratifying for me as a parent. My daughter has also been using the Explode the Code workbooks and Catholic Heritage Curriculum's program for phonics.
4. A smaller house.
I used to think a larger family needed a larger living space but right now I am enjoying a smaller house. All of our children are quite young at this time and in a smaller house I find it much easier to supervise them as I go about the day's activities. And of course there is less to clean.
Our current place also has a large fenced in yard and I am finding less-stuff, a small house, and a big yard to be a great combination. The little ones can play outside while I do dishes, cook, and keep an eye on them out the kitchen or other window.
6. Less stuff.
We are still in the process of downsizing on stuff. I have gotten rid of most of the toys. For than the first month we were here I didn't even unpack the toys so they read books and played outside all day. Then I finally got around to cleaning out the toys and pared it all down to 3 small to medium storage boxes. One for cars, trains, and other things that go, one for little dolls/figurines/dinosaurs, and one for legos. On a good day the boxes stay in the garage and are taken in one at a time to be played with. The children seem a lot more happy and engaged in their play having just a few simple toys to play with.
7. Being on-the-go a lot, and organization.
My mother (God bless her) has been visiting all summer through my husbands deployment and we were traveling around a lot together at hotels and homes of our family etc. This idea made traveling with the kids a lot easier and has become the permanent system in the home for the time being.
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